garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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