My brain says no but my pants say off.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize