Buhtt sex?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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