i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
