we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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