I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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