Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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