I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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