all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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