I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
