ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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