The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
