sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My ATM looks so different sober.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
