pedialite and red bull = repair kit
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
