Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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