If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
