I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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