They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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