Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
