mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
