I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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