Her vagina should come with caution tape.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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