I hate all girls vehemently.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize