upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
