Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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