That's intense
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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