That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
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You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
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I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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