I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize