Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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