Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
