its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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