I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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