so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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