How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
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Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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