he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize