I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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