And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
