she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
