I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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