she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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