I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
