I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize