It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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