i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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