so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
