either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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