Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
