Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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