You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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