I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize