Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my shit smells like andre
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize