He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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