I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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