i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
