Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
