Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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