First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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