In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
