I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
